Tomorrow begins my second year at Tulane Law School. I'm super-exited. I've had a great summer, in terms of my intellectual and experiential growth as a budding attorney, and I'm ready to get on with the formalized aspect of my legal education.
For all that this year will be a rigorous challenge much like last year, I'm certain that it will be vastly superior in many ways. This time around, I know the Law School Drill. I know how much time I'll have to devote to my studies; I know about the Socratic Method; I know about Exams. The material will be new (and more exciting, seeing as how I get to choose my own courses), but the method and the madness will be familiar. And, I know the lay of the land; the sprawling beauty of Tulane University's campus is no longer daunting or intimidating, instead it is a comforting sight.
I'm also going in this year with a renewed sense of vigor and confidence. Vigor, because I am freed of the doubts that plagues first-year law students: Do I really want to be a lawyer? Is this endeavor really worth the mental exhaustion and the astronomical tuition? I now have the concrete sense of purpose that stems from the certainty that there is nothing that I could do for a career that would bring me the satisfaction of lawyering, and the education I'm receiving is most certainly worth the cost in time, effort, and dollars. Not only that, but I have a career path planned already, one that neither grades nor economic recession can derail. And I have a renewed sense of confidence after having worked on real-life legal problems this summer without faltering, something that led me to law school initially but which I sorely missed during that daunting first year when doing real legal work was not possible.
And autumn is approaching. Even though the New Orleans summer days are still miserably hot, the sunlight grows shorter with every passing day, and the afternoon breezes grow increasingly cool and comfortable. It won't be long before the few deciduous trees put on their fall gowns and the sun is barely up when I'm waiting for the streetcar.
It's a time of year I've grown to adore 'lo these past 4 years. Ever since I moved far enough north to see the seasons change (FL only has two seasons: hot and mildly cool, and the mildly cool season is quite short indeed), fall has been one of my absolute favorite times of year. And since going back to school in 2006, I've come to associate it with beginnings, and the freshness of beginning new endeavors, since fall does, after all, traditionally mark the start of a new academic year.
This year, in particular, seems especially significant for new beginnings. For one, Hubby will be going back to school this year to finish his bachelor's degree after an 8 year hiatus. And then there's the fact that this will be the first time in a long time that I've started a new school year without the encouragement and support of my dearly missed father-in-law.
So it goes that I'm gathering my books and getting ready for Evidence, Comparative Private Law, Constitutional Law: 14th Amendment, Family Law, and Environmental Law whilst helping Hubby gather his books and get ready for Asian Religions, Earth History, Poetry, and Latin American Studies.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
anniversaries and another reason to celebrate
Since my last post, we've come a long way with our grieving. For the rest of my life I'll miss my dear father-in-law, but after 2 months, life without him is starting to feel "normal."
And lately we've had other reasons to be happy and much going on to keep us focused on the positive, such as...
One Year in NOLA
On July 8th, we celebrated the anniversary of our move to New Orleans! It's certainly been a long, difficult year, but the trials and tribulations have only served to make this place feel more like home. In that year our little basement apartment has been a retreat from the madness of Mardi Gras, a secluded studying place, and a comforting haven of relaxation from the stress of the Real World. The city no longer feels intimidating; I know the sidestreets and the shortcuts, the good neighborhoods from the bad, and the intricacies of the public transportation system. We've found the restaurants and bars favored by the locals (although sometimes it's still fun to 'play tourist' and visit the more touristy places), and we've made some good friends. For all of the difficulties this move has presented, all in all I'm so very glad we're here. And there's still 2 years to go before we can even think of moving away, which gives us plenty of time to make more memories, and for this charming city to grow even more dear in our hearts.
Six Years Married
On August 6th, we celebrated six years of marriage! On the one hand, it seems like the time has gone by so quickly, but on the other hand, when I stop and think of all that's happened in those six years, it seems like it's been a lot longer. Since 2004, we've been through an emergency appendectomy, the euthanasia of one of our pets, 3 moves in 2 cities, the purchase of a new car, an extended separation for the sake of my studies, a bachelor's degree, a year of grad school, a year of law school, the formulation and disintegration of 2 bands, and the death of a dearly beloved, just to name a few. And still we love and appreciate one another. My husband is still my best friend and confidant, and for all of my independence and strength, I cannot imagine my life without him. So it goes that we're heading into year seven of this legal, emotional, and intellectual partnership and I haven't any regrets about the path we're traveling together.
And Another Reason to Celebrate
Hubby has made the decision to go back to school! So on August 23rd he'll be starting with me at Tulane. He's going to finish his bachelor's degree in English. We got him in through the School of Continuing Studies, since he's over 25 and has been out of school for so many years. (Which is excellent because it means discounted tuition!) If all goes according to plan, we'll graduate together in 2012! In the meanwhile we can think about where he'll go to grad school, because I've convinced him that to really get anywhere in this modern world one must have more than a bachelor's degree.
All in all, these are exciting times. We've got much going on, and we're both going to be very busy, but I know that we're moving in the right direction, and that the future has many good things in store for us. The hardest part, as usual, is to not loose sight of the present, and to enjoy each day for what goodness it has to offer, instead of focusing too intently on what lies ahead. For while it is all good and well to plan ahead, it's for naught if one doesn't live in the moment, because the future is not guaranteed. So even though it's deathly hot and we're fighting a little fever-bug, I'll count my present blessings and enjoy this Sunday for what it's worth.
And lately we've had other reasons to be happy and much going on to keep us focused on the positive, such as...
One Year in NOLA
On July 8th, we celebrated the anniversary of our move to New Orleans! It's certainly been a long, difficult year, but the trials and tribulations have only served to make this place feel more like home. In that year our little basement apartment has been a retreat from the madness of Mardi Gras, a secluded studying place, and a comforting haven of relaxation from the stress of the Real World. The city no longer feels intimidating; I know the sidestreets and the shortcuts, the good neighborhoods from the bad, and the intricacies of the public transportation system. We've found the restaurants and bars favored by the locals (although sometimes it's still fun to 'play tourist' and visit the more touristy places), and we've made some good friends. For all of the difficulties this move has presented, all in all I'm so very glad we're here. And there's still 2 years to go before we can even think of moving away, which gives us plenty of time to make more memories, and for this charming city to grow even more dear in our hearts.
Six Years Married
On August 6th, we celebrated six years of marriage! On the one hand, it seems like the time has gone by so quickly, but on the other hand, when I stop and think of all that's happened in those six years, it seems like it's been a lot longer. Since 2004, we've been through an emergency appendectomy, the euthanasia of one of our pets, 3 moves in 2 cities, the purchase of a new car, an extended separation for the sake of my studies, a bachelor's degree, a year of grad school, a year of law school, the formulation and disintegration of 2 bands, and the death of a dearly beloved, just to name a few. And still we love and appreciate one another. My husband is still my best friend and confidant, and for all of my independence and strength, I cannot imagine my life without him. So it goes that we're heading into year seven of this legal, emotional, and intellectual partnership and I haven't any regrets about the path we're traveling together.
And Another Reason to Celebrate
Hubby has made the decision to go back to school! So on August 23rd he'll be starting with me at Tulane. He's going to finish his bachelor's degree in English. We got him in through the School of Continuing Studies, since he's over 25 and has been out of school for so many years. (Which is excellent because it means discounted tuition!) If all goes according to plan, we'll graduate together in 2012! In the meanwhile we can think about where he'll go to grad school, because I've convinced him that to really get anywhere in this modern world one must have more than a bachelor's degree.
All in all, these are exciting times. We've got much going on, and we're both going to be very busy, but I know that we're moving in the right direction, and that the future has many good things in store for us. The hardest part, as usual, is to not loose sight of the present, and to enjoy each day for what goodness it has to offer, instead of focusing too intently on what lies ahead. For while it is all good and well to plan ahead, it's for naught if one doesn't live in the moment, because the future is not guaranteed. So even though it's deathly hot and we're fighting a little fever-bug, I'll count my present blessings and enjoy this Sunday for what it's worth.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
of fathers and fatherhood
Can't help but being a little sad today, what with all of the reminders of fathers and fatherhood...
It's not that I'm not grateful for my own father. I love him dearly and I most certainly appreciate his presence in my life. But he's far, far away. And he has been for many years. Spending this day with him has not been a part of my yearly cycle for at least a decade.
And I'm also grateful for my dear, sweet husband, because he will be a wonderful father when the time comes.
It's just that I miss my father-in-law on this day dedicated to Dads. Spending the day with him, hubby, and my mother-in-law had become an important ritual in my yearly cycle 'lo these past 9 years. Although John is no longer with us, I'm grateful for the wonderful in-law relationships marriage has brought me; I know not everyone is completely accepted and wholly welcomed into the fold of the family they marry into, and that I've been very fortunate in this regard. (Indeed, it's precisely because of the love John and Irene have given me that this Father's Day pains me.) And, of course, I'm thankful to John's memory that he did such good work fathering Adam. But all of this gratitude doesn't fill the void left by John's absence.
Alas, the hurt is part of the healing, so I'll let myself feel it. And I'll remain grateful for the love I knew from my dear father-in-law, and do my best to stay strong for hubby's sake. This day is certainly more difficult for him than it is for me...
It's not that I'm not grateful for my own father. I love him dearly and I most certainly appreciate his presence in my life. But he's far, far away. And he has been for many years. Spending this day with him has not been a part of my yearly cycle for at least a decade.
And I'm also grateful for my dear, sweet husband, because he will be a wonderful father when the time comes.
It's just that I miss my father-in-law on this day dedicated to Dads. Spending the day with him, hubby, and my mother-in-law had become an important ritual in my yearly cycle 'lo these past 9 years. Although John is no longer with us, I'm grateful for the wonderful in-law relationships marriage has brought me; I know not everyone is completely accepted and wholly welcomed into the fold of the family they marry into, and that I've been very fortunate in this regard. (Indeed, it's precisely because of the love John and Irene have given me that this Father's Day pains me.) And, of course, I'm thankful to John's memory that he did such good work fathering Adam. But all of this gratitude doesn't fill the void left by John's absence.
Alas, the hurt is part of the healing, so I'll let myself feel it. And I'll remain grateful for the love I knew from my dear father-in-law, and do my best to stay strong for hubby's sake. This day is certainly more difficult for him than it is for me...
Sunday, June 13, 2010
the days roll by disconnected
More than a week has passed since I became closely acquainted with death, and still I'm struggling to come to terms with this turn of events. Time seems to have taken on a different character; each day seems to last an eternity and it's become so easy to loose track of how much time has actually passed since that endless night when the sun set forever on John's life.
I did well enough the first few days; I think I was on auto-pilot to get through the funeral. And then we came home, which, for some reason, has been the hardest part. It's like it wasn't real to me while we were in Jackson; it was more like some hazy dream. It wasn't until I got back on the well-worn streets of New Orleans that it hit me with the force of a hurricane: I'll never again go home to see my dear sweet father-in-law. And then the tears came in a flood.
The tears have since dried up, but the sadness lingers. I feel immensely apathetic and the simplest tasks require me to summon super-human strength. Or so it seems.
I know there's nothing to do but work through it. I'm not pushing myself too hard, though; I'm temporarily lowering my expectations of myself, telling myself it's okay to feel this hurt and emptiness, and that I shouldn't be expected to bounce right back to my usually over-achieving self. Because I know that this sadness will pass; the void will always remain, but the acute pain of the loss will ease with time. And so it will go that, in time, I will bounce back to my usual level of productivity.
For the time being though, I'll let myself take it slow, and let the sadness wrap me in its misty embrace. As more days turn into more weeks and those weeks turn into months, it will get easier.
I did well enough the first few days; I think I was on auto-pilot to get through the funeral. And then we came home, which, for some reason, has been the hardest part. It's like it wasn't real to me while we were in Jackson; it was more like some hazy dream. It wasn't until I got back on the well-worn streets of New Orleans that it hit me with the force of a hurricane: I'll never again go home to see my dear sweet father-in-law. And then the tears came in a flood.
The tears have since dried up, but the sadness lingers. I feel immensely apathetic and the simplest tasks require me to summon super-human strength. Or so it seems.
I know there's nothing to do but work through it. I'm not pushing myself too hard, though; I'm temporarily lowering my expectations of myself, telling myself it's okay to feel this hurt and emptiness, and that I shouldn't be expected to bounce right back to my usually over-achieving self. Because I know that this sadness will pass; the void will always remain, but the acute pain of the loss will ease with time. And so it will go that, in time, I will bounce back to my usual level of productivity.
For the time being though, I'll let myself take it slow, and let the sadness wrap me in its misty embrace. As more days turn into more weeks and those weeks turn into months, it will get easier.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
a loss
My father-in-law died last night. Hubby and I were there, along with my mother in law. It was quiet and peaceful. And it was time. The cancer he had been battling since May of 2008 had finally made living difficult for him, so we can only be glad that he went quickly and quietly after the decision was made Friday night to only give him palliative care.
Even still, the loss is hard to bare. I've never before experienced the loss of a close family member. And it's tough.
I thought I'd have more to write; writing usually helps me cope with difficult emotions. But here I find myself at a loss for words. Maybe it's too soon.
Johnny Eugene Hammack
05/15/1941 - 06/05/2010
Even still, the loss is hard to bare. I've never before experienced the loss of a close family member. And it's tough.
I thought I'd have more to write; writing usually helps me cope with difficult emotions. But here I find myself at a loss for words. Maybe it's too soon.
Johnny Eugene Hammack05/15/1941 - 06/05/2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
free time put to good use
With my 1L year now behind me, I've found myself with a certain amount of free time that I haven't known since last August. Even though I'll be doing summer school and wage-earning legal work in the coming months, I'll still have more free time, comparatively, than I did during that hectic 1L year. So, I have two big projects in the works:
A Container Garden
This winter I got the garden bug something awful, and I've been mentally planning an herb and tiny vegetable garden for many months. But I acted the Good Law Student, and focused the bulk of my time and mental energy towards my legal studies, putting off the garden until after the end of the semester. Thus it was with great pleasure that I started buying herbs, tomatoes, peppers, soil, and containers this past week. And this evening, after the sun was low in the sky, I planted and planted until I ran out of soil. One tomato plant remains, and I'll fetch more soil tomorrow and get him settled in his container.
In all, I'm growing two tomato plants, three pepper plants, a rosemary bush, and an herb garden. I'm most proud of my herb garden, because of my ingenious container solution. See, there's been an old non-working charcoal grill sitting in our courtyard since we moved here. (Since ours was stolen almost immediately upon arriving here, we had hoped that we could salvage the old one, but no such luck. It refuses to function as a grill.) So I threw away the lid and the grates, lined the vents with cheesecloth -- so my soil wouldn't fall out the bottom -- and used it as a super-sized planter.
It worked perfectly! It contains my entire herb garden: basil, parsley, mint, sage, cilantro, dill, thyme, chives, and oregano. The creepers -- thyme and oregano -- are toward the front edges so they can do their thing and cascade down the side of the grill, and the tall boys -- mint, parsley, and basil -- are toward the back so they can grow high unimpeded. Delicate cilantro and dill are in the middle, where they can be protected by the shade of the taller growers. (Rosemary has its own pot since its a perennial here in NOLA.)
The veggies are each in their own separate, large pots. I wish I could share photos. I have some, but since my laptop is dead I'm without a good way to get the photos off of my memory card...
Updating My Online Presence
This is a big project. First, I'm going to sever this blog from my professional life. I'll still provide updates as to what's going on with me and my legal career, but I'm not going to make an effort to steer clear of the mundane. This blog is going to be geared at folks who know me IRL and who want to know what's going on in my day-to-day life.
Second, I'm going to create a whole new blog dedicated to legal issues and the kinds of things I'm interested in professionally. Ya'll will be free to visit over there, but I won't feel like I'm boring you with my legal interests.
Third, I'm going to compartmentalize my website, separating the personal from the professional. This will entail making a legal sub-domain which will serve as the portal to my professional services, accomplishments, interests, etc., leaving the main site much as it is now, although I do intend to redesign it a bit.
So this is a big project, but one which will be somewhat enjoyable (because I am, after all, an old-school HTML geek) and wholly worthwhile. Stay tuned for links to the new pages as they get up and running.
Otherwise,
I been enjoying spending time in the kitchen without feeling guilty or rushed. This weekend I made fresh-squeezed lemonade, a crock-pot roasted chicken (the leftovers of which are soon to become chicken salad for lunch), from-scratch jambalaya, and from-scratch fettuccine alfredo with prosciutto, mushrooms, and green onions. Not only were the results of my hard work in the kitchen yummy, but I relished in the slow pace of it all. Yay for kitchen therapy!
So I'm all poised to make the most out of whatever free time I can squeeze out of this summer.
A Container Garden
This winter I got the garden bug something awful, and I've been mentally planning an herb and tiny vegetable garden for many months. But I acted the Good Law Student, and focused the bulk of my time and mental energy towards my legal studies, putting off the garden until after the end of the semester. Thus it was with great pleasure that I started buying herbs, tomatoes, peppers, soil, and containers this past week. And this evening, after the sun was low in the sky, I planted and planted until I ran out of soil. One tomato plant remains, and I'll fetch more soil tomorrow and get him settled in his container.
In all, I'm growing two tomato plants, three pepper plants, a rosemary bush, and an herb garden. I'm most proud of my herb garden, because of my ingenious container solution. See, there's been an old non-working charcoal grill sitting in our courtyard since we moved here. (Since ours was stolen almost immediately upon arriving here, we had hoped that we could salvage the old one, but no such luck. It refuses to function as a grill.) So I threw away the lid and the grates, lined the vents with cheesecloth -- so my soil wouldn't fall out the bottom -- and used it as a super-sized planter.
It worked perfectly! It contains my entire herb garden: basil, parsley, mint, sage, cilantro, dill, thyme, chives, and oregano. The creepers -- thyme and oregano -- are toward the front edges so they can do their thing and cascade down the side of the grill, and the tall boys -- mint, parsley, and basil -- are toward the back so they can grow high unimpeded. Delicate cilantro and dill are in the middle, where they can be protected by the shade of the taller growers. (Rosemary has its own pot since its a perennial here in NOLA.)
The veggies are each in their own separate, large pots. I wish I could share photos. I have some, but since my laptop is dead I'm without a good way to get the photos off of my memory card...
Updating My Online Presence
This is a big project. First, I'm going to sever this blog from my professional life. I'll still provide updates as to what's going on with me and my legal career, but I'm not going to make an effort to steer clear of the mundane. This blog is going to be geared at folks who know me IRL and who want to know what's going on in my day-to-day life.
Second, I'm going to create a whole new blog dedicated to legal issues and the kinds of things I'm interested in professionally. Ya'll will be free to visit over there, but I won't feel like I'm boring you with my legal interests.
Third, I'm going to compartmentalize my website, separating the personal from the professional. This will entail making a legal sub-domain which will serve as the portal to my professional services, accomplishments, interests, etc., leaving the main site much as it is now, although I do intend to redesign it a bit.
So this is a big project, but one which will be somewhat enjoyable (because I am, after all, an old-school HTML geek) and wholly worthwhile. Stay tuned for links to the new pages as they get up and running.
Otherwise,
I been enjoying spending time in the kitchen without feeling guilty or rushed. This weekend I made fresh-squeezed lemonade, a crock-pot roasted chicken (the leftovers of which are soon to become chicken salad for lunch), from-scratch jambalaya, and from-scratch fettuccine alfredo with prosciutto, mushrooms, and green onions. Not only were the results of my hard work in the kitchen yummy, but I relished in the slow pace of it all. Yay for kitchen therapy!
So I'm all poised to make the most out of whatever free time I can squeeze out of this summer.
a 1L no more and other law school news
My first year of law school is officially over. Yay!
The feeling of accomplishment is immense. I can only imagine how good it will feel to get that JD in hand come 2012...
The exam period was daunting, but I survived. No word yet on grades; they'll be weeks in the coming.
In the midst of it, though, I was dealt a major set-back: with two exams down and one to go, my laptop died. It wasn't completely without warning; Mr. Lappy had been giving me fits when powering up and when waking from sleep, so I had been regularly backing-up my Absolutely Essential data, but I haven't yet managed to save all of my digital photos or archived e-mails. Alas, I remain hopeful that I can salvage those things some way or another.
Luckily, my trusty old ThinkPad, with his dead battery and held-on-by-one-screw-screen came to the rescue so that I didn't have to hand-write my Constitutional Law exam. He'll serve my portable computing needs for the summer, and at home I can share hubby's desktop, and by mid-August I should be able to save up for a new laptop. I will not, however, be buying another HP. Instead, I'm looking to custom build with AVADirect, so that I can tailor my computer for doing what I need it to do: helping me to be a better law student and someday-soon-lawyer.
So, with my 1L year behind me, I'm all geared up for a busy summer. I've got my judicial internship, and not one but 2 part-time law clerk jobs for local small firms. And I'm taking a summer externship class. Although summer school means I'll be super-busy, it will be a good thing because I'll start my 2L year with more credits than students who don't do summer school, which will mean a lighter class-load at some point in my law school career. On top of that, the externship meets Tulane's "skills course" requirement, which is a fancy way of saying that you can't graduate without doing hands-on legal work for class credit. By getting that requirement out of the way now, it will be one less thing to worry about down the road.
The externship involves two components: classroom and field placement. During May and June I'll have class 1-2 times per week, and then during July I'll be working in the Family Law Unit at Southeast Louisiana Legal Services. Classes start on Thursday, so I haven't really had much of a break, and the way things are looking I'm not likely to get much of one.
Not that I really mind working through the summer. I'll get some great experience and it will feel good to be working again, but I hope that at some point we can plan a few weekend trips here and there to visit friends and family in Mississippi...
The feeling of accomplishment is immense. I can only imagine how good it will feel to get that JD in hand come 2012...
The exam period was daunting, but I survived. No word yet on grades; they'll be weeks in the coming.
In the midst of it, though, I was dealt a major set-back: with two exams down and one to go, my laptop died. It wasn't completely without warning; Mr. Lappy had been giving me fits when powering up and when waking from sleep, so I had been regularly backing-up my Absolutely Essential data, but I haven't yet managed to save all of my digital photos or archived e-mails. Alas, I remain hopeful that I can salvage those things some way or another.
Luckily, my trusty old ThinkPad, with his dead battery and held-on-by-one-screw-screen came to the rescue so that I didn't have to hand-write my Constitutional Law exam. He'll serve my portable computing needs for the summer, and at home I can share hubby's desktop, and by mid-August I should be able to save up for a new laptop. I will not, however, be buying another HP. Instead, I'm looking to custom build with AVADirect, so that I can tailor my computer for doing what I need it to do: helping me to be a better law student and someday-soon-lawyer.
So, with my 1L year behind me, I'm all geared up for a busy summer. I've got my judicial internship, and not one but 2 part-time law clerk jobs for local small firms. And I'm taking a summer externship class. Although summer school means I'll be super-busy, it will be a good thing because I'll start my 2L year with more credits than students who don't do summer school, which will mean a lighter class-load at some point in my law school career. On top of that, the externship meets Tulane's "skills course" requirement, which is a fancy way of saying that you can't graduate without doing hands-on legal work for class credit. By getting that requirement out of the way now, it will be one less thing to worry about down the road.
The externship involves two components: classroom and field placement. During May and June I'll have class 1-2 times per week, and then during July I'll be working in the Family Law Unit at Southeast Louisiana Legal Services. Classes start on Thursday, so I haven't really had much of a break, and the way things are looking I'm not likely to get much of one.
Not that I really mind working through the summer. I'll get some great experience and it will feel good to be working again, but I hope that at some point we can plan a few weekend trips here and there to visit friends and family in Mississippi...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
yikes
Let's hope this won't be my fate!
Unlike poor Mr. Parker, I feel I've got Constitutional Law in the bag. It's Property Law and the Rule Against Perpetuities that just might kill me...
h/t to Josh Blackman
Sunday, April 25, 2010
mental marathon
The curse is come upon me,
the curse of law school exams, that is. When TLS will test not merely my aptitude for applying the principles of the Uniform Commercial Code, Constitutional Law, and Property Law to hypothetical fact patterns, but also my mental endurance.
The exam period, which began on Thursday, is like a mental marathon. The challenge is to have a working understanding of the legal doctrines and rules we've been learning all semester, not merely in the abstract, but in order to apply those doctrines and rules to new facts and predict an outcome during the three hour exam. The pressure is enormous, not only because of the massive amount of law we've covered over the last 16 weeks which must be condensed into something that is mentally digestible, but also because in law school one's entire grade for the semester rests on that final exam. Nevermind if you've come to every class, done all your homework, and participated in class discussions; it doesn't count towards your GPA. All that counts is your performance during those stress-filled three hours of testing.
I've been working diligently since classes were over on Wednesday. And I'm secure in the knowledge that, in the end, it will all be alright. I'm not going to fail. I will have my J.D. in 2012, and with it I will carve out a satisfying, meaningful career path for myself.
But I can't help but feel the pressure. And I sincerely wish to do my very best on all 3 exams. So, I've been putting in 9+ hour days of studying, and I will continue to do so until May 3rd, the day of the last exam. For this reason the law school exam period is like a marathon.
It's exhausting. And it's excruciating to be locked up in the climate controlled library, day in and day out, while all I want to do is revel in the glorious New Orleans spring time. I feel like the Lady of Shallot: trapped in the tower of the TLS library while shadows of the world pass me by, damned if I quit weaving the web of my study guide to go down to the Camelot that is the French Quarter.
I am half sick of shadows.
If I can just persevere, though, it will all be over two weeks from tomorrow. And then I'll be able to enjoy a much-needed 3½ month break from the rigors of law school.
the curse of law school exams, that is. When TLS will test not merely my aptitude for applying the principles of the Uniform Commercial Code, Constitutional Law, and Property Law to hypothetical fact patterns, but also my mental endurance.
The exam period, which began on Thursday, is like a mental marathon. The challenge is to have a working understanding of the legal doctrines and rules we've been learning all semester, not merely in the abstract, but in order to apply those doctrines and rules to new facts and predict an outcome during the three hour exam. The pressure is enormous, not only because of the massive amount of law we've covered over the last 16 weeks which must be condensed into something that is mentally digestible, but also because in law school one's entire grade for the semester rests on that final exam. Nevermind if you've come to every class, done all your homework, and participated in class discussions; it doesn't count towards your GPA. All that counts is your performance during those stress-filled three hours of testing.
I've been working diligently since classes were over on Wednesday. And I'm secure in the knowledge that, in the end, it will all be alright. I'm not going to fail. I will have my J.D. in 2012, and with it I will carve out a satisfying, meaningful career path for myself.
But I can't help but feel the pressure. And I sincerely wish to do my very best on all 3 exams. So, I've been putting in 9+ hour days of studying, and I will continue to do so until May 3rd, the day of the last exam. For this reason the law school exam period is like a marathon.
It's exhausting. And it's excruciating to be locked up in the climate controlled library, day in and day out, while all I want to do is revel in the glorious New Orleans spring time. I feel like the Lady of Shallot: trapped in the tower of the TLS library while shadows of the world pass me by, damned if I quit weaving the web of my study guide to go down to the Camelot that is the French Quarter.
I am half sick of shadows.If I can just persevere, though, it will all be over two weeks from tomorrow. And then I'll be able to enjoy a much-needed 3½ month break from the rigors of law school.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
spring time in New Orleans
The weather is perfect: mid-70s and sunny with a breeze.
Flowers are everywhere, and there's verdant new growth cropping up on every branch, shrub, and vine.
The air, humid as always, is lush with the rich scents of wisteria, jasmine, and other mysterious blossoms unrecognizable to me.
It's so wonderful I'm having difficulty staying focused and on task. All I want to do is wander around and experience the beauty of each day, occasionally stopping to sit and wonder at my good fortune to be alive and well in such a lovely place. But law school finals lurk in the background, and anxiety never fails to disturb my tranquility. So I'm striving to find a balance between working diligently and not taking a single precious day for granted.
Flowers are everywhere, and there's verdant new growth cropping up on every branch, shrub, and vine.
The air, humid as always, is lush with the rich scents of wisteria, jasmine, and other mysterious blossoms unrecognizable to me.
It's so wonderful I'm having difficulty staying focused and on task. All I want to do is wander around and experience the beauty of each day, occasionally stopping to sit and wonder at my good fortune to be alive and well in such a lovely place. But law school finals lurk in the background, and anxiety never fails to disturb my tranquility. So I'm striving to find a balance between working diligently and not taking a single precious day for granted.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
spring break
For the last 8 days I've done absolutely nothing productive. It's been beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
My vacation began with a jaunt up to Brandon, to spend the weekend with the in-laws. I enjoyed a belated birthday supper of steak and fried mushrooms and cauliflower, and the next night hubby and I cooked from-scratch jambalaya.
From there, we went to Jackson and spent a few days with old friends. While in Jackson we made sure to eat at the Thai House and Sakura Bana. And, of course, we spent our Tuesday night at the very best place to be in Jackson, Mississippi on a Tuesday night: Fenian's Pub.
On Wednesday, we went to McComb, and floated down the Homochitto River in kayaks with some new friends who are NOLA-McComb dual residents. (The kayaking, I must say, was incredibly fun -- much moreso than I imagined. I hope we can do it again this fall!) Then on Thursday we returned home, where our kitties were waiting.
Since returning home, I've done a few chores here and there, and Hubby and I have enjoyed cooking together in our own kitchen. Tomorrow, though, I must get serious again with my productivity. April 15th looms very near, meaning taxes must be done. And final exams will be over and done at 5pm on May 3 --one month from today, meaning outlining must begin without further delay.
For tonight though, I'll continue relaxing. And come tomorrow, I'll be grateful to have had such a restful, rejuvenating vacation to fortify me for the long, busy weeks to come.
My vacation began with a jaunt up to Brandon, to spend the weekend with the in-laws. I enjoyed a belated birthday supper of steak and fried mushrooms and cauliflower, and the next night hubby and I cooked from-scratch jambalaya.
From there, we went to Jackson and spent a few days with old friends. While in Jackson we made sure to eat at the Thai House and Sakura Bana. And, of course, we spent our Tuesday night at the very best place to be in Jackson, Mississippi on a Tuesday night: Fenian's Pub.
On Wednesday, we went to McComb, and floated down the Homochitto River in kayaks with some new friends who are NOLA-McComb dual residents. (The kayaking, I must say, was incredibly fun -- much moreso than I imagined. I hope we can do it again this fall!) Then on Thursday we returned home, where our kitties were waiting.
Since returning home, I've done a few chores here and there, and Hubby and I have enjoyed cooking together in our own kitchen. Tomorrow, though, I must get serious again with my productivity. April 15th looms very near, meaning taxes must be done. And final exams will be over and done at 5pm on May 3 --one month from today, meaning outlining must begin without further delay.
For tonight though, I'll continue relaxing. And come tomorrow, I'll be grateful to have had such a restful, rejuvenating vacation to fortify me for the long, busy weeks to come.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
fare thee well, LRW
Last night, as of 8pm, my appellate brief -- one of the formative rites of passage of the first year of law school -- was finalized & bluebooked. (I've been merrily reviewing & revising since Tuesday when I finished my drafting.) Today, it's not yet noon and already the brief has been proofread, the table of contents & table of authorities checked-and-double-checked, and the whole thing copied and professionally spiral-bound. And it's not due until 12noon tomorrow. WooHoo!
It feels so good to have successfully not procrastinated to the last possible minute. Thank heavens I'm not still writing, which would leave me scrambling to get it copied and bound tomorrow morning. I'm so proud of my time-management skills!
The feeling is extra sweet because it marks my last weighty assignment for LRW (Legal Research and Writing; we're big on acronyms in law school). All that's left for the class, after Spring Break, is oral argument. And I'm not sweating that. Even though public speaking is not my forte, 'tis something I've become more accustomed to through the years, and after becoming intimately familiar with my argument 'lo these last 6 weeks of researching and writing, talking about the case and the precedent will be a cake walk. Add to that the fact that oral argument only counts for 5% of my grade, and I'm simply not all too concerned about it.
Now, with LRW moving to the background, I can take a short time to relax and then focus all my energies on preparing for final exams.
It feels so good to have successfully not procrastinated to the last possible minute. Thank heavens I'm not still writing, which would leave me scrambling to get it copied and bound tomorrow morning. I'm so proud of my time-management skills!
The feeling is extra sweet because it marks my last weighty assignment for LRW (Legal Research and Writing; we're big on acronyms in law school). All that's left for the class, after Spring Break, is oral argument. And I'm not sweating that. Even though public speaking is not my forte, 'tis something I've become more accustomed to through the years, and after becoming intimately familiar with my argument 'lo these last 6 weeks of researching and writing, talking about the case and the precedent will be a cake walk. Add to that the fact that oral argument only counts for 5% of my grade, and I'm simply not all too concerned about it.
Now, with LRW moving to the background, I can take a short time to relax and then focus all my energies on preparing for final exams.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
to burn cool and collected
The pressure is mounting as my first year of law school draws to a close: the last major writing project of the year (which counts for 40% of the grade for that class) is due on Monday, March 22nd. Then it's oral arguments, followed all too quickly by final exams, replete with the arduous process of outlining. (Outlining is law-student lingo for preparing a study-guide since most exams are open-note, and to benefit from the process of doing so even for those exams that aren't.)
After exams, we're free to work for the summer, and the expectation is that we do legal work, even if it's on a volunteer basis, so as to get some Real World experience. Fortunately, I already have Real World legal experience, and I already have two paying jobs lined up for the summer. I'll be working as a judicial intern at the Louisiana 4th Circuit Court of Appeal for a small stipend, and I'll be doing some part-time contract work for a small law office in Metairie. I hope to get another part-time gig lined up, too, simply to expand my network of local attorneys and to add some more breadth to my legal experience. All in all, though, I'm relatively isolated from the stress of finding a summer job, which is a great relief.
As for the school work, I'm trying my best to stay on top of things, and I think I'm doing well enough. My brief is completely drafted, giving me 5 days still for revising, copying, and binding. (We're required to professionally bind the document as if we were really submitting a brief to a Federal Court of Appeals.) So that is good. I'm sufficiently caught up on my reading, too.
But I'm not pushing myself too hard. For instance, I haven't started outlining yet, even though it would be best to have done so. Instead, I'm taking steps to actively avoid burn-out: taking breaks to go for a walk, making time to cook and eat real food, and getting plenty of sleep. I've yet to know whether this will be a fatal error, or if it will prove to be the best strategy.
Apparently it's working enough to at least affect a calm exterior: classmates remark on my serenity. Little do they know how furiously the anxiety churns within. But I'll fight through it, so that even as the heat turns up (literally and figuratively as NOLA says goodbye to winter) I'll keep my composure.
After exams, we're free to work for the summer, and the expectation is that we do legal work, even if it's on a volunteer basis, so as to get some Real World experience. Fortunately, I already have Real World legal experience, and I already have two paying jobs lined up for the summer. I'll be working as a judicial intern at the Louisiana 4th Circuit Court of Appeal for a small stipend, and I'll be doing some part-time contract work for a small law office in Metairie. I hope to get another part-time gig lined up, too, simply to expand my network of local attorneys and to add some more breadth to my legal experience. All in all, though, I'm relatively isolated from the stress of finding a summer job, which is a great relief.
As for the school work, I'm trying my best to stay on top of things, and I think I'm doing well enough. My brief is completely drafted, giving me 5 days still for revising, copying, and binding. (We're required to professionally bind the document as if we were really submitting a brief to a Federal Court of Appeals.) So that is good. I'm sufficiently caught up on my reading, too.
But I'm not pushing myself too hard. For instance, I haven't started outlining yet, even though it would be best to have done so. Instead, I'm taking steps to actively avoid burn-out: taking breaks to go for a walk, making time to cook and eat real food, and getting plenty of sleep. I've yet to know whether this will be a fatal error, or if it will prove to be the best strategy.
Apparently it's working enough to at least affect a calm exterior: classmates remark on my serenity. Little do they know how furiously the anxiety churns within. But I'll fight through it, so that even as the heat turns up (literally and figuratively as NOLA says goodbye to winter) I'll keep my composure.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
old friends
For anyone out there who knew me way back when I was but a lass of 16 or younger, this is for you:
You likely don't know how much your friendship meant to me, but I look back upon our time together so fondly. Those carefree days in sunny Florida will always occupy a special place in my heart.
After middle school I only had the one year of high school. And when I moved to Mississippi, I was practically an adult by the time I got settled here. Beyond what I knew at LMCS and DBHS, I never had the formative, rite-of-passage experiences that most American teenagers share: prom, spring break adventures, the shared anxiety of awaiting college acceptance decisions, and those last bittersweet weeks of senior year.
I have no regrets as to how my life unfolded, but so it goes that my middle school friends and my 9th grade friends remain so dear to me in my memories. The times we had and the experiences we shared, while seemingly mundane or silly or fleeting, will always be special to me.
And even though my role in your lives has likely been much smaller than your role in my life, please know that I'll never forget you. I wish you all the best, and I'll always be grateful for your friendship.
You likely don't know how much your friendship meant to me, but I look back upon our time together so fondly. Those carefree days in sunny Florida will always occupy a special place in my heart.
After middle school I only had the one year of high school. And when I moved to Mississippi, I was practically an adult by the time I got settled here. Beyond what I knew at LMCS and DBHS, I never had the formative, rite-of-passage experiences that most American teenagers share: prom, spring break adventures, the shared anxiety of awaiting college acceptance decisions, and those last bittersweet weeks of senior year.
I have no regrets as to how my life unfolded, but so it goes that my middle school friends and my 9th grade friends remain so dear to me in my memories. The times we had and the experiences we shared, while seemingly mundane or silly or fleeting, will always be special to me.
And even though my role in your lives has likely been much smaller than your role in my life, please know that I'll never forget you. I wish you all the best, and I'll always be grateful for your friendship.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
suiting
First thing this morning I had an on-campus interview, which meant (1) that I was frigid during the outdoors portion of my morning commute, and (2) that I was stuck wearing a business suit all the day long. Lounging in the student center reading for class, walking around on campus, eating lunch, and going to class all had to be done in a damned business suit, none of which felt right.
Now, I realize that I’m going to have to become more accustomed to wearing suits. But this realization has two caveats. One, if all goes according to plan, I won’t actually have to wear suits all too often, and certainly not all day, every day. Two, the wearing of suits that I will be doing will be better suited for suits than the things I’ve been doing today. That is, ideally, I’ll wear suits for court, depositions, and an occasional super-important meeting, but for doing everyday legal work I can simply wear put-together, professional-looking attire that isn’t necessarily a suit. And when I am in a suit I (hopefully) won't be in an environment where I stick out like a sore thumb as the only one wearing a suit amongst a bunch of 1st year law students and undergrads.
There’s just something about wearing a suit that makes me feel stuffy and uptight. Hopefully that will pass as I wear suits more often, but for now I’m happy to be home in yoga pants and a flannel shirt...
Now, I realize that I’m going to have to become more accustomed to wearing suits. But this realization has two caveats. One, if all goes according to plan, I won’t actually have to wear suits all too often, and certainly not all day, every day. Two, the wearing of suits that I will be doing will be better suited for suits than the things I’ve been doing today. That is, ideally, I’ll wear suits for court, depositions, and an occasional super-important meeting, but for doing everyday legal work I can simply wear put-together, professional-looking attire that isn’t necessarily a suit. And when I am in a suit I (hopefully) won't be in an environment where I stick out like a sore thumb as the only one wearing a suit amongst a bunch of 1st year law students and undergrads.
There’s just something about wearing a suit that makes me feel stuffy and uptight. Hopefully that will pass as I wear suits more often, but for now I’m happy to be home in yoga pants and a flannel shirt...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
the party's over
The crowds have dispersed. The streets have been cleaned. But port-a-potties still line the streets. And although the neutral ground is cleared of tents, grills, chairs, and ladders, remnants of cheap Chinese trinkets remain. Crushed, deformed doubloons lie on the streetcar tracks. Beads hang from the trees, fences, and power-lines.
The streetcar is running again, but it carries more tourists than locals. They're easy enough to identify, clutching parcels from Cafe Du Monde and speaking in a variety of accents and tongues. The schoolchildren with whom I usually ride the early am trolley are nowhere to be seen. I suspect they've been given the entire week off to recover from the festivities.
No such luck for us law students. Today we return to the drudgery and toil that is the study of law. And while I'm ready and willing to embrace sobriety and quiet after a long weekend of hearty partying, it required a Herculean effort to get out of bed this morning in time for class. Unfortunately, it seems returning to the tedium and monotony of law school is no easy task after four days of fun and festivity.
The streetcar is running again, but it carries more tourists than locals. They're easy enough to identify, clutching parcels from Cafe Du Monde and speaking in a variety of accents and tongues. The schoolchildren with whom I usually ride the early am trolley are nowhere to be seen. I suspect they've been given the entire week off to recover from the festivities.
No such luck for us law students. Today we return to the drudgery and toil that is the study of law. And while I'm ready and willing to embrace sobriety and quiet after a long weekend of hearty partying, it required a Herculean effort to get out of bed this morning in time for class. Unfortunately, it seems returning to the tedium and monotony of law school is no easy task after four days of fun and festivity.
Monday, February 15, 2010
celebratory
Festivities! Enthusiasm!
Such has been my life as of late. It started last Friday evening, with the Krewe of Oshun parading down The Avenue. Since then, 16 more parades have passed by mere yards from my home. And on Tues (Dat Tuesday!) we walked down to Lee Circle to see yet another parade: the Saints’ triumphant march through the old, faithful, tired streets of New Orleans. It was quite a sight:
With quite the crowd...
And fighter jets, too!
So it goes that my first Mardi Gras has almost come to an end. Tonight marks Lundi Gras, with two more parades and partying all night into the morrow: Mardi Gras, the day for which the entire carnival season has been culminating. After Zulu, Rex, Elks, and Crescent City roll tomorrow, the 9 days of parades will come to and end. As of Wednesday, Lent - the lean season of sacrifice and fasting - will then be upon this city. It couldn't end sooner, in my humble opinion. It was fun, at first, watching the spectacle. There is something truly special and unique about this city during this time. But there's only so much spectacle one need experience in the span of two weeks. For my part, I’ll be ready and willing to embrace the sombre spirit of Lent, thanks to the knowledge that another round of law school final exams lies just around the corner...
And, of course, secure in the knowledge that next year will bring another round of spectacle with another Mardi Gras.
Tonight, however, ‘tis bacchanal revelry or bust!
Such has been my life as of late. It started last Friday evening, with the Krewe of Oshun parading down The Avenue. Since then, 16 more parades have passed by mere yards from my home. And on Tues (Dat Tuesday!) we walked down to Lee Circle to see yet another parade: the Saints’ triumphant march through the old, faithful, tired streets of New Orleans. It was quite a sight:
With quite the crowd...
And fighter jets, too!
So it goes that my first Mardi Gras has almost come to an end. Tonight marks Lundi Gras, with two more parades and partying all night into the morrow: Mardi Gras, the day for which the entire carnival season has been culminating. After Zulu, Rex, Elks, and Crescent City roll tomorrow, the 9 days of parades will come to and end. As of Wednesday, Lent - the lean season of sacrifice and fasting - will then be upon this city. It couldn't end sooner, in my humble opinion. It was fun, at first, watching the spectacle. There is something truly special and unique about this city during this time. But there's only so much spectacle one need experience in the span of two weeks. For my part, I’ll be ready and willing to embrace the sombre spirit of Lent, thanks to the knowledge that another round of law school final exams lies just around the corner...
And, of course, secure in the knowledge that next year will bring another round of spectacle with another Mardi Gras.
Tonight, however, ‘tis bacchanal revelry or bust!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
alive and well in 2010
Well, I survived exams and the holidays. Exams were difficult, but I studied so much and worked so hard I don't think I could have done any better for my part. The question that remains, then, is how hard my cohort studied, and how the grades will be distributed along the curve. Only time will tell, but I'll be waiting with bated breath until grades are released at the end of the month.
For now, week 2 of the new semester, I'm trying to get acclimated to a new schedule. It's a lighter load than last semester (3 substantive classes instead of 4), which is a relief, but that doesn't mean I'll be any less stressed, for my classes this term promise to be even more dense and tedious than those of the last term. Contracts II: Sales, and Property Law will both be tedious, and Constitutional Law will be the most interesting, but it will require a great deal of time and effort. (How could it not be with a textbook that's 1962 pages long?) And it is the one and only class for which the exam will be closed book and closed notes.
So, here we go again.
Aside from school, the holidays offered a much needed and welcomed break from the stress and mind-numbing pace of law school. Over the two-week mini-vacation I was able to do a lot of relaxing, and enjoy a lot of good food and good company, the memories of which will help to sustain me over the next few months as I stumble back into the fray of the Second Semester...
For now, week 2 of the new semester, I'm trying to get acclimated to a new schedule. It's a lighter load than last semester (3 substantive classes instead of 4), which is a relief, but that doesn't mean I'll be any less stressed, for my classes this term promise to be even more dense and tedious than those of the last term. Contracts II: Sales, and Property Law will both be tedious, and Constitutional Law will be the most interesting, but it will require a great deal of time and effort. (How could it not be with a textbook that's 1962 pages long?) And it is the one and only class for which the exam will be closed book and closed notes.
So, here we go again.
Aside from school, the holidays offered a much needed and welcomed break from the stress and mind-numbing pace of law school. Over the two-week mini-vacation I was able to do a lot of relaxing, and enjoy a lot of good food and good company, the memories of which will help to sustain me over the next few months as I stumble back into the fray of the Second Semester...
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