Two weeks into my summer vacation, and it's feeling a lot more like summer than vacation.
Things were lovely for a little while: the last front of cool, feel-good air moved through New Orleans, which naturally led to picnicking and walking in the park. Hubby and I enjoyed a lovely date night downtown. I luxuriated in several days of post-exam-relaxation, sleeping late and generally doing very little other than watching the Netflix. I re-read a comforting familiar dystopian novel for fun and at my own pace. And even though I fought a little fever bug and played nurse while Hubby did likewise, it was a lovely respite indeed.
But then there were chores to be done, and plans to be made, and business to handle. Because even though I'm not actively a law student at this moment (attending class or reading cases) there's always business to be done relating to my chosen career path. And having a home means there's always chores to be done. So it's not feeling very much like a vacation any more, even though I'm not punching a clock or going to class. Meanwhile the warm temps and high humidity have returned to ensure that it is feeling very much like summer.
At least I have roughly another month to tackle things at my own pace before it's time to get back into student mode for summer school. Which will be very bizarre indeed, seeing as how I'll be physically on vacation from home at the time, studying international human rights law at the University of Amsterdam and living in a flat in Jordaan, Amsterdam.
Bizarre, but incredible. Even though I have plane tickets and passport in hand (and two homework assignments already!), it's still somewhat unbelievable to think that I'm going to study abroad this summer. I've never before left the US, and I've always been a non-traditional student. I'm not quite sure how it happened that I'm now one of those twenty-somethings heading off to spend 5 weeks in Europe.
But it's totally happening. This is going to be an amazing summer vacation, even if there is some summer school thrown into the mix!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
another year, another semester, and another home
As I greet 2011 and a New Semester of law school, I’m feeling quite content, if a little overwhelmed.
With another semester of law school under my belt, I’m now officially half-way through with my Juris Doctor degree requirements. And while law school continues to be practically all-consuming, I know that this, too, shall pass, and I'll come out the better for it in the end. (Last semester about killed me – working whilst taking 15 credit hours required more effort than I could muster most days, but I survived, mostly with the help of vast quantities of coffee and espresso.)
So far, so good with the Spring semester. I’m enrolled in classes that are both intellectually stimulating and practical, and the reading load seems to be mostly tolerable.
Good thing, too, since in the midst of the New Semester excitement, it happens that I’m once again living in Box House, the inevitable result of our recent move to a bigger place here in New Orleans. And while I love living in an Irish Channel shotgun double in true New Orleanian style, my desire to get unpacked and settled serves as a huge distraction from my legal studies. I try to delegate my time wisely, and I think I’m on the right track: the house is coming together incrementally, and I’ve not yet fallen behind with my schoolwork.
Also this semester I’ll be Acting President of the Law Women’s Association at Tulane. I was elected to serve merely as Vice President, but our President got the opportunity to study abroad in Hong Kong this semester, and away she went, leaving me to act in her stead. While this is all well and good, it is yet another distraction which influenced my decision to take only 4 classes this term.
Hopefully, after a few more marathon weekends of unpacking and organizing, the new house will be much more settled, giving me more time to focus on my legal education and career development. For now, though, my time remains divided between these two all-important tasks.
And trying to fit in a decent amount of sleep. So it goes that with this brief update I must bid you farewell and goodnight, dear readers. Mayhap 2011 will allow more time for blogging than did 2010...
With another semester of law school under my belt, I’m now officially half-way through with my Juris Doctor degree requirements. And while law school continues to be practically all-consuming, I know that this, too, shall pass, and I'll come out the better for it in the end. (Last semester about killed me – working whilst taking 15 credit hours required more effort than I could muster most days, but I survived, mostly with the help of vast quantities of coffee and espresso.)
So far, so good with the Spring semester. I’m enrolled in classes that are both intellectually stimulating and practical, and the reading load seems to be mostly tolerable.
Good thing, too, since in the midst of the New Semester excitement, it happens that I’m once again living in Box House, the inevitable result of our recent move to a bigger place here in New Orleans. And while I love living in an Irish Channel shotgun double in true New Orleanian style, my desire to get unpacked and settled serves as a huge distraction from my legal studies. I try to delegate my time wisely, and I think I’m on the right track: the house is coming together incrementally, and I’ve not yet fallen behind with my schoolwork.
Also this semester I’ll be Acting President of the Law Women’s Association at Tulane. I was elected to serve merely as Vice President, but our President got the opportunity to study abroad in Hong Kong this semester, and away she went, leaving me to act in her stead. While this is all well and good, it is yet another distraction which influenced my decision to take only 4 classes this term.
Hopefully, after a few more marathon weekends of unpacking and organizing, the new house will be much more settled, giving me more time to focus on my legal education and career development. For now, though, my time remains divided between these two all-important tasks.
And trying to fit in a decent amount of sleep. So it goes that with this brief update I must bid you farewell and goodnight, dear readers. Mayhap 2011 will allow more time for blogging than did 2010...
Sunday, August 22, 2010
New Academic Year's Eve
Tomorrow begins my second year at Tulane Law School. I'm super-exited. I've had a great summer, in terms of my intellectual and experiential growth as a budding attorney, and I'm ready to get on with the formalized aspect of my legal education.
For all that this year will be a rigorous challenge much like last year, I'm certain that it will be vastly superior in many ways. This time around, I know the Law School Drill. I know how much time I'll have to devote to my studies; I know about the Socratic Method; I know about Exams. The material will be new (and more exciting, seeing as how I get to choose my own courses), but the method and the madness will be familiar. And, I know the lay of the land; the sprawling beauty of Tulane University's campus is no longer daunting or intimidating, instead it is a comforting sight.
I'm also going in this year with a renewed sense of vigor and confidence. Vigor, because I am freed of the doubts that plagues first-year law students: Do I really want to be a lawyer? Is this endeavor really worth the mental exhaustion and the astronomical tuition? I now have the concrete sense of purpose that stems from the certainty that there is nothing that I could do for a career that would bring me the satisfaction of lawyering, and the education I'm receiving is most certainly worth the cost in time, effort, and dollars. Not only that, but I have a career path planned already, one that neither grades nor economic recession can derail. And I have a renewed sense of confidence after having worked on real-life legal problems this summer without faltering, something that led me to law school initially but which I sorely missed during that daunting first year when doing real legal work was not possible.
And autumn is approaching. Even though the New Orleans summer days are still miserably hot, the sunlight grows shorter with every passing day, and the afternoon breezes grow increasingly cool and comfortable. It won't be long before the few deciduous trees put on their fall gowns and the sun is barely up when I'm waiting for the streetcar.
It's a time of year I've grown to adore 'lo these past 4 years. Ever since I moved far enough north to see the seasons change (FL only has two seasons: hot and mildly cool, and the mildly cool season is quite short indeed), fall has been one of my absolute favorite times of year. And since going back to school in 2006, I've come to associate it with beginnings, and the freshness of beginning new endeavors, since fall does, after all, traditionally mark the start of a new academic year.
This year, in particular, seems especially significant for new beginnings. For one, Hubby will be going back to school this year to finish his bachelor's degree after an 8 year hiatus. And then there's the fact that this will be the first time in a long time that I've started a new school year without the encouragement and support of my dearly missed father-in-law.
So it goes that I'm gathering my books and getting ready for Evidence, Comparative Private Law, Constitutional Law: 14th Amendment, Family Law, and Environmental Law whilst helping Hubby gather his books and get ready for Asian Religions, Earth History, Poetry, and Latin American Studies.
For all that this year will be a rigorous challenge much like last year, I'm certain that it will be vastly superior in many ways. This time around, I know the Law School Drill. I know how much time I'll have to devote to my studies; I know about the Socratic Method; I know about Exams. The material will be new (and more exciting, seeing as how I get to choose my own courses), but the method and the madness will be familiar. And, I know the lay of the land; the sprawling beauty of Tulane University's campus is no longer daunting or intimidating, instead it is a comforting sight.
I'm also going in this year with a renewed sense of vigor and confidence. Vigor, because I am freed of the doubts that plagues first-year law students: Do I really want to be a lawyer? Is this endeavor really worth the mental exhaustion and the astronomical tuition? I now have the concrete sense of purpose that stems from the certainty that there is nothing that I could do for a career that would bring me the satisfaction of lawyering, and the education I'm receiving is most certainly worth the cost in time, effort, and dollars. Not only that, but I have a career path planned already, one that neither grades nor economic recession can derail. And I have a renewed sense of confidence after having worked on real-life legal problems this summer without faltering, something that led me to law school initially but which I sorely missed during that daunting first year when doing real legal work was not possible.
And autumn is approaching. Even though the New Orleans summer days are still miserably hot, the sunlight grows shorter with every passing day, and the afternoon breezes grow increasingly cool and comfortable. It won't be long before the few deciduous trees put on their fall gowns and the sun is barely up when I'm waiting for the streetcar.
It's a time of year I've grown to adore 'lo these past 4 years. Ever since I moved far enough north to see the seasons change (FL only has two seasons: hot and mildly cool, and the mildly cool season is quite short indeed), fall has been one of my absolute favorite times of year. And since going back to school in 2006, I've come to associate it with beginnings, and the freshness of beginning new endeavors, since fall does, after all, traditionally mark the start of a new academic year.
This year, in particular, seems especially significant for new beginnings. For one, Hubby will be going back to school this year to finish his bachelor's degree after an 8 year hiatus. And then there's the fact that this will be the first time in a long time that I've started a new school year without the encouragement and support of my dearly missed father-in-law.
So it goes that I'm gathering my books and getting ready for Evidence, Comparative Private Law, Constitutional Law: 14th Amendment, Family Law, and Environmental Law whilst helping Hubby gather his books and get ready for Asian Religions, Earth History, Poetry, and Latin American Studies.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
anniversaries and another reason to celebrate
Since my last post, we've come a long way with our grieving. For the rest of my life I'll miss my dear father-in-law, but after 2 months, life without him is starting to feel "normal."
And lately we've had other reasons to be happy and much going on to keep us focused on the positive, such as...
One Year in NOLA
On July 8th, we celebrated the anniversary of our move to New Orleans! It's certainly been a long, difficult year, but the trials and tribulations have only served to make this place feel more like home. In that year our little basement apartment has been a retreat from the madness of Mardi Gras, a secluded studying place, and a comforting haven of relaxation from the stress of the Real World. The city no longer feels intimidating; I know the sidestreets and the shortcuts, the good neighborhoods from the bad, and the intricacies of the public transportation system. We've found the restaurants and bars favored by the locals (although sometimes it's still fun to 'play tourist' and visit the more touristy places), and we've made some good friends. For all of the difficulties this move has presented, all in all I'm so very glad we're here. And there's still 2 years to go before we can even think of moving away, which gives us plenty of time to make more memories, and for this charming city to grow even more dear in our hearts.
Six Years Married
On August 6th, we celebrated six years of marriage! On the one hand, it seems like the time has gone by so quickly, but on the other hand, when I stop and think of all that's happened in those six years, it seems like it's been a lot longer. Since 2004, we've been through an emergency appendectomy, the euthanasia of one of our pets, 3 moves in 2 cities, the purchase of a new car, an extended separation for the sake of my studies, a bachelor's degree, a year of grad school, a year of law school, the formulation and disintegration of 2 bands, and the death of a dearly beloved, just to name a few. And still we love and appreciate one another. My husband is still my best friend and confidant, and for all of my independence and strength, I cannot imagine my life without him. So it goes that we're heading into year seven of this legal, emotional, and intellectual partnership and I haven't any regrets about the path we're traveling together.
And Another Reason to Celebrate
Hubby has made the decision to go back to school! So on August 23rd he'll be starting with me at Tulane. He's going to finish his bachelor's degree in English. We got him in through the School of Continuing Studies, since he's over 25 and has been out of school for so many years. (Which is excellent because it means discounted tuition!) If all goes according to plan, we'll graduate together in 2012! In the meanwhile we can think about where he'll go to grad school, because I've convinced him that to really get anywhere in this modern world one must have more than a bachelor's degree.
All in all, these are exciting times. We've got much going on, and we're both going to be very busy, but I know that we're moving in the right direction, and that the future has many good things in store for us. The hardest part, as usual, is to not loose sight of the present, and to enjoy each day for what goodness it has to offer, instead of focusing too intently on what lies ahead. For while it is all good and well to plan ahead, it's for naught if one doesn't live in the moment, because the future is not guaranteed. So even though it's deathly hot and we're fighting a little fever-bug, I'll count my present blessings and enjoy this Sunday for what it's worth.
And lately we've had other reasons to be happy and much going on to keep us focused on the positive, such as...
One Year in NOLA
On July 8th, we celebrated the anniversary of our move to New Orleans! It's certainly been a long, difficult year, but the trials and tribulations have only served to make this place feel more like home. In that year our little basement apartment has been a retreat from the madness of Mardi Gras, a secluded studying place, and a comforting haven of relaxation from the stress of the Real World. The city no longer feels intimidating; I know the sidestreets and the shortcuts, the good neighborhoods from the bad, and the intricacies of the public transportation system. We've found the restaurants and bars favored by the locals (although sometimes it's still fun to 'play tourist' and visit the more touristy places), and we've made some good friends. For all of the difficulties this move has presented, all in all I'm so very glad we're here. And there's still 2 years to go before we can even think of moving away, which gives us plenty of time to make more memories, and for this charming city to grow even more dear in our hearts.
Six Years Married
On August 6th, we celebrated six years of marriage! On the one hand, it seems like the time has gone by so quickly, but on the other hand, when I stop and think of all that's happened in those six years, it seems like it's been a lot longer. Since 2004, we've been through an emergency appendectomy, the euthanasia of one of our pets, 3 moves in 2 cities, the purchase of a new car, an extended separation for the sake of my studies, a bachelor's degree, a year of grad school, a year of law school, the formulation and disintegration of 2 bands, and the death of a dearly beloved, just to name a few. And still we love and appreciate one another. My husband is still my best friend and confidant, and for all of my independence and strength, I cannot imagine my life without him. So it goes that we're heading into year seven of this legal, emotional, and intellectual partnership and I haven't any regrets about the path we're traveling together.
And Another Reason to Celebrate
Hubby has made the decision to go back to school! So on August 23rd he'll be starting with me at Tulane. He's going to finish his bachelor's degree in English. We got him in through the School of Continuing Studies, since he's over 25 and has been out of school for so many years. (Which is excellent because it means discounted tuition!) If all goes according to plan, we'll graduate together in 2012! In the meanwhile we can think about where he'll go to grad school, because I've convinced him that to really get anywhere in this modern world one must have more than a bachelor's degree.
All in all, these are exciting times. We've got much going on, and we're both going to be very busy, but I know that we're moving in the right direction, and that the future has many good things in store for us. The hardest part, as usual, is to not loose sight of the present, and to enjoy each day for what goodness it has to offer, instead of focusing too intently on what lies ahead. For while it is all good and well to plan ahead, it's for naught if one doesn't live in the moment, because the future is not guaranteed. So even though it's deathly hot and we're fighting a little fever-bug, I'll count my present blessings and enjoy this Sunday for what it's worth.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
of fathers and fatherhood
Can't help but being a little sad today, what with all of the reminders of fathers and fatherhood...
It's not that I'm not grateful for my own father. I love him dearly and I most certainly appreciate his presence in my life. But he's far, far away. And he has been for many years. Spending this day with him has not been a part of my yearly cycle for at least a decade.
And I'm also grateful for my dear, sweet husband, because he will be a wonderful father when the time comes.
It's just that I miss my father-in-law on this day dedicated to Dads. Spending the day with him, hubby, and my mother-in-law had become an important ritual in my yearly cycle 'lo these past 9 years. Although John is no longer with us, I'm grateful for the wonderful in-law relationships marriage has brought me; I know not everyone is completely accepted and wholly welcomed into the fold of the family they marry into, and that I've been very fortunate in this regard. (Indeed, it's precisely because of the love John and Irene have given me that this Father's Day pains me.) And, of course, I'm thankful to John's memory that he did such good work fathering Adam. But all of this gratitude doesn't fill the void left by John's absence.
Alas, the hurt is part of the healing, so I'll let myself feel it. And I'll remain grateful for the love I knew from my dear father-in-law, and do my best to stay strong for hubby's sake. This day is certainly more difficult for him than it is for me...
It's not that I'm not grateful for my own father. I love him dearly and I most certainly appreciate his presence in my life. But he's far, far away. And he has been for many years. Spending this day with him has not been a part of my yearly cycle for at least a decade.
And I'm also grateful for my dear, sweet husband, because he will be a wonderful father when the time comes.
It's just that I miss my father-in-law on this day dedicated to Dads. Spending the day with him, hubby, and my mother-in-law had become an important ritual in my yearly cycle 'lo these past 9 years. Although John is no longer with us, I'm grateful for the wonderful in-law relationships marriage has brought me; I know not everyone is completely accepted and wholly welcomed into the fold of the family they marry into, and that I've been very fortunate in this regard. (Indeed, it's precisely because of the love John and Irene have given me that this Father's Day pains me.) And, of course, I'm thankful to John's memory that he did such good work fathering Adam. But all of this gratitude doesn't fill the void left by John's absence.
Alas, the hurt is part of the healing, so I'll let myself feel it. And I'll remain grateful for the love I knew from my dear father-in-law, and do my best to stay strong for hubby's sake. This day is certainly more difficult for him than it is for me...
Sunday, June 13, 2010
the days roll by disconnected
More than a week has passed since I became closely acquainted with death, and still I'm struggling to come to terms with this turn of events. Time seems to have taken on a different character; each day seems to last an eternity and it's become so easy to loose track of how much time has actually passed since that endless night when the sun set forever on John's life.
I did well enough the first few days; I think I was on auto-pilot to get through the funeral. And then we came home, which, for some reason, has been the hardest part. It's like it wasn't real to me while we were in Jackson; it was more like some hazy dream. It wasn't until I got back on the well-worn streets of New Orleans that it hit me with the force of a hurricane: I'll never again go home to see my dear sweet father-in-law. And then the tears came in a flood.
The tears have since dried up, but the sadness lingers. I feel immensely apathetic and the simplest tasks require me to summon super-human strength. Or so it seems.
I know there's nothing to do but work through it. I'm not pushing myself too hard, though; I'm temporarily lowering my expectations of myself, telling myself it's okay to feel this hurt and emptiness, and that I shouldn't be expected to bounce right back to my usually over-achieving self. Because I know that this sadness will pass; the void will always remain, but the acute pain of the loss will ease with time. And so it will go that, in time, I will bounce back to my usual level of productivity.
For the time being though, I'll let myself take it slow, and let the sadness wrap me in its misty embrace. As more days turn into more weeks and those weeks turn into months, it will get easier.
I did well enough the first few days; I think I was on auto-pilot to get through the funeral. And then we came home, which, for some reason, has been the hardest part. It's like it wasn't real to me while we were in Jackson; it was more like some hazy dream. It wasn't until I got back on the well-worn streets of New Orleans that it hit me with the force of a hurricane: I'll never again go home to see my dear sweet father-in-law. And then the tears came in a flood.
The tears have since dried up, but the sadness lingers. I feel immensely apathetic and the simplest tasks require me to summon super-human strength. Or so it seems.
I know there's nothing to do but work through it. I'm not pushing myself too hard, though; I'm temporarily lowering my expectations of myself, telling myself it's okay to feel this hurt and emptiness, and that I shouldn't be expected to bounce right back to my usually over-achieving self. Because I know that this sadness will pass; the void will always remain, but the acute pain of the loss will ease with time. And so it will go that, in time, I will bounce back to my usual level of productivity.
For the time being though, I'll let myself take it slow, and let the sadness wrap me in its misty embrace. As more days turn into more weeks and those weeks turn into months, it will get easier.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
a loss
My father-in-law died last night. Hubby and I were there, along with my mother in law. It was quiet and peaceful. And it was time. The cancer he had been battling since May of 2008 had finally made living difficult for him, so we can only be glad that he went quickly and quietly after the decision was made Friday night to only give him palliative care.
Even still, the loss is hard to bare. I've never before experienced the loss of a close family member. And it's tough.
I thought I'd have more to write; writing usually helps me cope with difficult emotions. But here I find myself at a loss for words. Maybe it's too soon.
Johnny Eugene Hammack
05/15/1941 - 06/05/2010
Even still, the loss is hard to bare. I've never before experienced the loss of a close family member. And it's tough.
I thought I'd have more to write; writing usually helps me cope with difficult emotions. But here I find myself at a loss for words. Maybe it's too soon.
Johnny Eugene Hammack05/15/1941 - 06/05/2010
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